This article was first posted on December 29, 2011, at NationalReview.com.

Celebrity therapist and “life coach” Dr. Keith Ablow just jumped on the “let’s get the government out of the marriage business” bandwagon. I have been writing against the “privatizing marriage” mantra, going all the way back to 2005. (See also here and here.) I do not wish to rehearse those arguments here. But Dr. Ablow’s contribution to this unfortunate genre is doubly regrettable. He is, first of all, deeply mistaken about the government’s role in discouraging people from marriage. As a psychiatrist, he has no particular expertise in policy analysis, and I am sorry to say, it shows. My second regret about his foray into policy analysis is that he forsakes the area of his greatest expertise, namely, helping people live happier lives. His proposal to “get the government out of the marriage business” substitutes an easy exit strategy for the genuine work of building up marriage and family relationships. (more…)

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by Anne Morse (no relation)

The signs are encouraging.

Thirty years ago this July, I stayed up to watch the fairy-tale wedding between a shy young pre-school teacher and the prince of Wales. Fifteen years, two children, and considerable adultery later, the fairy tale had fractured beyond repair. (more…)

 

Declare War on Divorce

by Rev. Preston Butler, Jr., Co-Founder/President of PK3 Minstries based in Oceanside, CA, and the author of “It’s OK to Have an Affair (with your spouse).”

This article was written for a special Martin Luther King, Jr. edition of the Ruth Institute newsletter, January 17, 2011.

Americans of all races and religions rightly celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King’s messages of peace, love, justice and non-violence. However, I believe these messages apply to our family lives, as well as to the civil rights struggle. Husbands and wives have duties to one another, and to their children, as a matter of love and justice. Rev King’s “I Have a Dream” speech is still one of the most memorable and magnificent masterpieces of all times. If Dr. King were here today, and asked to say a few words about marriage and divorce, I believe he would say something like this:

Just as we declared war on Iraq and Afghanistan, we must declare “war on divorce!” The rise in divorce damages not only couples, but society itself. Widespread divorce is eroding the American way of life many have fought so hard to achieve and preserve.

I have a dream that one day, divorce in America will be so uncommon that it will be totally insignificant and have no impact on our children and communities.

I have a dream that married couples of all races and nationalities will adhere to their vows, love one another, and uphold the sanctity of marriage as God intended between one man and one woman.

I have a dream that married couples will embrace and live out the true meaning of the small, but giant phrase “I do.”

Yes, I have a dream that husbands and wives will love, honor, respect, and cherish one another as Jesus loved the church.

I have a dream that wedded bliss will no longer be a myth, but a reality.

I have a dream that divorce will be unheard of, an ancient relic, a curiosity from a bygone era, rather than the 50/50 probability that exists today.

I have a dream that one day, Americans will humble themselves and pray, turn from their wicked ways and seek the face of God. When we do this, I believe God will hear our petitions and heal the land. That’s my dream.”

After a rousing speech like that, many would conclude Dr. King was really dreaming. But his critics said the same about his non-violent protests which ultimately inspired integration and significantly decreased global discrimination.

In my humble opinion, the dysfunction that follows divorce cannot be overlooked or trivialized anymore. Divorce is not a black problem, a white problem, or a Latino problem. It is a human problem. Strengthening marriage requires less talk and more action.

I propose we declare “war on divorce!”

Here are four things I recommend for couples.

1) Commit and submit to each other
2) Eliminate divorce as an option
3) Intentionally seek ways to keep your relationships healthy (well before it
unravels)
4) Educate yourself and participate in marriage strengthening events.

These four recommendations won’t solve all your problems. But you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are becoming part of the solution, and building the dream of America without Divorce.

 

Streets versus Dreams

By Dr. Craig Mitchell

This article was written for a special Martin Luther King, Jr. edition of the Ruth Institute newsletter, January 17, 2011.

In my travels through American cities, I cannot help but notice many streets named in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Unfortunately, these streets are often in the worst parts of those cities. As such, the honor King receives is dubious, at best. (more…)

 
By Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D

This article originally appeared in the National Catholic Register on May 4, 2006.

Public opinion polls show that the vast majority of Americans oppose legalizing same-sex marriage. Yet that same public seems unwilling to go to the mat over the issue. What accounts for this reticence? I believe that the issue of divorce lurking in the background of the debate. (more…)